Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Christmas and tender mercies

The third sunday in November we sat across from the bishop in tithing settlement. He asked how we were doing. We answered we are struggling but doing ok. He asked how prepared for christmas we were. I teared up as I answered, "I have no idea what we are going to do for christmas!?

He smiled and assuredly spoke, "we will take care of you, please don't worry!"

I was embarrased relieved and filled with guilt and a sense of peace as we left his office that day.

We have had so many trials since we moved to Bountiful.

Robs pay at his part time job has been inconsistent and added a lot of stress to our lives.

I am so lonely here without my friends and family that I have always had so close.

I have had to do so many things that throw me out of my comfort zone

I wanted to skip Christmas and not think of my responsibility as a parent to provide Christmas for my children.

I feel there is so many other people in the world that need so much more than us. I hate to accept help. But I'm grateful for those willing to help especially for the sake of my children.

A few weeks ago on a Saturday afternoon, there was a knock on the door. I had woken up with a sore back this particular day. As the day progressed I could barely move, Ryder (my 5 year old) was feeding the younger children (cereal & p b &j's) and I don't think one of my kids had pants on. Who needs pants when we are all at home and mom can barely move without excruciating pain.

So The pants-less boys answered the door to a stranger who asked for their parents. I struggled to the door to find people I did not recognize. I was disoriented from my pain and did not fully comprehend what our visitors purpose was. They asked where Rob was I told them at work. They (a man and his wife) proceeded to bring in two very large plastic totes filled with diapers, wipes, toilet paper, laundry detergent, food, snacks, and treats. Then they brought in giant bags filled with wrapped gifts. I was so grateful and so humbled and wondered who would do such a generous thing. Then I thought back to the Bishop's words and assumed it was his doing.

Fast forward a few weeks to 2 days before Christmas. The bishop called and asked if he could bring some christmas gifts over that evening.
He was kind and humble and brought by the gifts and some cash to help us through the holidays. I was grateful and so apppreciative but perplexed. If he was giving me this now. Who was responsible for the previous delivery of gifts and goods?

Then Christmas eve night the door bell rang. We couldn't even open our front door there was so much stuff on our porch. Clothes and games for the kids, cash, and lots and lots of food of every kind.

I didn't know anyone knew us here. I can't believe the generosity and kindness of those around us. My kids had an amazing christmas because of the generosity of others. I hope some day when we are no longer students and are more established in life I can repay the generosity and kindness that has been shown to us this christmas!!

I wish I could thank each and everyone who contributed to our christmas, but I really have no idea who did such a wonderful service to our family. but it really helped us more than anyone coudl know, and i am so grateful for all we have been blessed with.

Friday, December 16, 2016

Current theme of my life

I have always been a very cautious person. I like to know details. I like to know whats going to happen and how and when and why. I don't often jump or be spontanious or step out of my comfort zone. I feel like the past four months and continuing now the theme of my life is "jump out of your comfort zone!"

Moving to a new town

A new ward


Driving on big freeways

Teaching relief society

teaching a class on lectures of faith

making new friends

Living in Bountiful

Are just a few of the things that have truly been hard and Ive really had to rely on my faith and just push through and cheer myself on, and do you know what I accomplished these things. IT wasn't as scary as I imagined. Some of these experiences I am still working through and trying to be brave and fake it til I make it. But I am realizing now more than ever that I can do hard things!

I am doing things and having adventures I never dreamed possible. I am now excited for what surprises life will bring and learning to be less afraid.

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Every day miracles in mom life

Potty training my first son, Ryder, was easy. A little effort a little planning and jelly beans and he was potty trained at 2 years old with no accidents and we never looked back.

When my next son came along I assumed it would be as easy!?

So when Rustin turned two years old I was determined and maybe a little excited.

He was going to be potty trained! And then he refused. He wasn't scared of the potty. He wasn't confused, he understood the concept.. He just refused. He was stubborn and didnt want to be bothered.

Over the past year and a half I have had moments of hope where he would go an hour or two without an accident. Sometimes he would even go on his own accord without me asking him to go. but mos tof the time he would cry and scream and only go potty in the toilet after screaming crying and being draged there. so it wasn't a positive experience for anyone.

I tried charts.

I tried treats.

I tried toys, shoes undies, bribery is every aspect ha!

none of it worked....

so I tried the opposite

no video games til you pee in the potty

no tablet time

still didn't work just made me feel like a bad mom who takes away too much..

But today, friends!!! Today, well it began yesterday, he gets excited to wear undies... he goes to the bathroom on his own by himself EVERYTIME!!!! He has had the ability to be potty trained for over a year just didnt want to. But THIS TIME it was his idea!! :) HE is offically potty trained! I hope this continues, but I really think it will stick this time becuase it was HIM not me that instigated this potty training for the 100th time!! :)

YAY for Rustin (and for mom) He is potty trained who cares if he is 3 1/2 at least its finally occured.

It's crazy to believe the things that excite me. but today I am excited by the fact the Rusty has the abilty to wear undies without aciidents!! YAY!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Family photos!

over thanksgiving weekend we had family pictures taken!

heres a few of them!

Monday, December 5, 2016

Our Current adventure

We live in Bountiful Utah.

Bountiful is a wonderful little town. Everything is so close. Costco, walmart, Smiths, Michaels, Ross, Target, Cosmo Prof, dollar tree, all of these stores are like less than 5 minutes away from where we live. We are liking our ward. Rob is a home teaching coordinator. I am on the Relief society activity committee. WE are enjoying our low key callings. The boys have lots of neighbor friends to play with. We live within walking distance to Ryder's school. We walk often, but not so much lately, as its been too cold to take raelee out in the weather?!

Raelee is walking/running talking and learning new words and new tricks everyday. She thinks she has mastered the stairs but it makes me so nervous to watch her.

Ryder is loving kindergarten and doing so well. It is fun to watch him read and write sentences!

Rustin is rambunctious and hilarious and frustrating as ever! WE are still working on potty training- seriously it may be the death of me... I thought he would be potty trained a year ago?! He is witty and coordinated especially for a 3 year old.

Rob is doing great in school. There is a lot of homework and studying required and he soars through it all. he is getting A's in all his classes. His first semester ends at the end of this week. He is working at The Larry H Miller Dealership here in Bountiful. It is only 5 blocks away from where we live and they work wonderfully with his school schedule.

The snow is a new adventure for us, but it hasnt been too bad yet? :)

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

This is getting real!!!

We are moving up north next week!!! its been frustrating stressful crazy fast. I know its what will be best for the future of our family, but sometimes it just feels so hard.

I LOVE summer and I feel like I didnt get a summer last year, because of all my kidney problems and hospital visits, This summer all I want to do is go to the library and the pool and the splash pads and instead i have so much packing and cleaning and moving preparations to do.

Hopefully we can get settled into our new home soon and feel better about the future and all the changes occuring!

meanwhile we are living the adventure of a lifetime! HA!!

Saturday, July 2, 2016

New Adventure

When I got Married in 2009. I was a Hair Stylist, a Nanny, and a waitress. Rob was a Mechanic. I figured this as step one in settling down.

With our Careers we could make a good life.

In 2011 We had Ryder, six weeks before his due date. It was scary and unexpected to say the least. I couldn't imagine leaving my baby who was on oxygen at home hooked up to all kinds of machines. I decided I was no longer going to work in a salon away from my baby. I could nanny from home. So the plan for our lives changed a bit, but not alot. I still did hair, just from home, and Rob still had a lucrative job. I still was a nanny, just at my own home.

In 2012 i thought we made one of our final steps in settling down. I had wanted to buy a house for years. My goal was always to buy a house by the time I turned 25. I was 24 when We bought our house.

Then in 2013 the unexpected happen- Rob lost his job as a mechanic. Two weeks before our second son Rustin was born. We were shocked, devastated, and realized that maybe we weren't as "settled" as we thought. But I figured, we survived Ryder coming early, we survived the law suit against the insurance company that wouldn't pay Ryder's 30k worth of hospital bills.

But, a few months later, Rob found another job, with great benefits, but making a lot less money. I just kept thinking, it will work out something better will come along, or Rob would get a promotion, or some amazing job would just fall into our laps, I mean we were almost "settled"

Well here we are in the year 2016, and not much has changed in three years. We now have a family of five! But we have felt stuck for a while now and nothing seems to be changing.

A few months ago I had a feeling that something big was going to happen, something good, but something big. At first I kind of blew off the thought, figured it was my over active imagination or wishful thinking. then I thought; well maybe Rob will get a promotion or some awesome job will come up.

But The truth is something amazing didnt just fall into our laps. But I do think my years of prayers have been answered and I believe it got a kick off with a simple conversation with my cousin who is an A&P certified Aircraft Mechanic. At a family party Rob and I were talking to my cousin, and something just clicked with me and Rob. I've asked Rob for three years what does he want to do, where does he want to go from here. His response has always been, I don't know, or I'm not sure. Or I don't think I've come across the answer yet.

Rob is motivated, excited and decisive about this path for our future. I am very excited and supportive of this new development in our lives.
Rob is enrolled at SLLC to study becoming a Licensed A&P aircraft Mechanic.

He starts school: August 24th

WE will move' (sometime before that)

We sold our house ...... (it has a pending offer)

WE will live @ Somewhere near Salt Lake international airport? Since that is where his classes will be. I'm sure some amazing deal will come up just when we need it to, it seems everything else has happened that way since we made the decision to go down this path!

This is our new adventure!

We are far from "settled" but we feel very strongly this new direction was always part of the plan, we just didn't know it yet!

It's never too late to start the rest of your life! So here we go!

There has been times, a lot of times, lately that my heart feels heavy, and my body tired, and my mind fuzzy, and my soul discouraged. I'm lonely as Rob works 60+ weeks and devotes time and effort and hours away from us to his scout calling, and I struggle with a fussy baby and energetic strong willed little boys. But now, since we've made this decision, and started down this path. I feel lighter, I feel Joy. He worked a 14 hour day today. I saw him for less than two hours before he had to go to bed again to wake up tomorrow and work another 14 hour day. But now I know this isn't the end for us, this isn't going to be how the rest of our lives are going to be. Some day we will see Rob more, he will be able to spend more time with us, and we will be more financially secure.

I may not have all the answers and there is a lot that is still unknown, But I know the future is full of wonderful surprises and adventures, and I can smile and truly feel happy, knowing our future is bright and full of hope and faith.